Post main image
Photo by


You Had A Sleep Over, Now What?

The dos and don'ts of the after play

BY Joan Thatiah

Feb 13, 2023, 01:47 PM

Photo by

If you are over 23, you have probably been to one of those bridal shower sessions where a senga is invited to talk about sex.

You sat in a circle and listened as this woman your mother’s age spoke candidly about sex giving tips that she promised will have your man running home from work every day. I have sat in this circle many times.

Truth be told, we pay too much attention to seduction and what happens in the sack but not what happens when it’s all over. We forget that the after play could very well seal the deal or break it.

The Pillow Talk

We have all heard about the nasty Kenyan men who tell you they love you when they are shopping for engagement rings to propose to other women. When I talk about pillow talk, I am not talking about the lies that men and women sometimes tell just so they can get laid.

After sex, it will be rude to just roll over and sleep. It would be great though if you can summon some energy and try to make conversation with your date. No, I do not mean trying to offload on him all of your life’s problems.

Even just trying to know them a little better will suffice. He will know that you care about him beyond his sturdy arms and buff chest. Plus who knows, those love hormones may just give you the most candid heart to heart you’ve ever had.

Pay Compliments

We know how the Kenya man is – compliment his game in bed and he will take you to the ends of the earth. We all love gifts and surprises but that isn’t the only thing you will get out of paying compliments.

Tell him it was great. Exaggerate a little. If you make him feel good about himself, he will want to give you an even more pleasurable experience and you will reap the benefits.

Ditch The Phone

I know, I know, you can’t go more than a few hours without your phone, right? The afternoon was so great that you can’t wait to tweet it about it, right? Chill. Have a cookie.

Instead of getting on your phone or turning on the television right after, how about some physical contact to keep the glow on? Some kissing and touching maybe? Also, jumping in the shower together might be a great idea, especially if you are trying to show him your playful side.

Don’t Overstay

Have you heard of those Kenyan women who went for a sleepover to their boyfriend’s place and never went home? Well, you are not trying to become one of them. So you’ve had a mind-blowing night, an awesome connection after and you are wondering if you should linger. Don’t.

If it was a one-night stand, you have no business being in his house the next day at noon. Fight that temptation to hang around so you can snoop in his closet for signs of other females. It’s not your business.

Depending on who you shared your night of passion with, your mind won’t stop spinning. If you slipped and got with your ex, you are wondering what this means for you? If it’s a friend, you are worried that this will change everything and if it’s a guy you just met, you are wondering whether he will want to see you again?

There is only one solution to the spinning mind – stop overthinking it.

Read: What That Weekend Away Invite Really Means