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What Is Orgasm Anxiety?

Is this what is killing your sex life?

BY Mercy Kipchilat

Mar 14, 2023, 10:23 AM

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Orgasm anxiety refers to the feelings of stress, fear, or worry that can occur before, during, or after sexual activity. It can manifest as difficulty relaxing during sex, difficulty achieving orgasm, or a general sense of performance anxiety related to sexual activity.

Although it is not an officially recognized anxiety disorder, orgasm anxiety is a common problem that affects many people of both genders and affects their sexual health.

Here is a look at some of the common signs of orgasm anxiety, what causes it, as well as how to overcome orgasm anxiety. 

Signs Of Orgasm Anxiety.

Here are a few common signs and symptoms of orgasm anxiety. If you regularly experience some of these symptoms during sex then you might have orgasm anxiety.

  • You have difficulty reaching orgasm even when aroused.

  • Your body tenses up during intercourse.

  • You are scared of losing control during orgasm.

  • Your thoughts wander away during the sexual experience and you feel a disassociation between your mind and body.

  • You worry about your performance during intimacy and fear disappointing your partner.

  • You don’t enjoy the entire sexual experience and view it more as a job than a fun activity.

  • You may also have physical symptoms like sweating, heart racing, and muscle tension, which can negatively affect your sexual experience.

Causes Of Orgasm Anxiety.

Since we all perceive intimacy differently and experience pleasure differently, the causes of orgasm anxiety vary for different people and sometimes, it can stem from multiple causes.

Some of the common causes of orgasm anxiety include:

Body-Image Issues.

Having a negative image of yourself or being highly self-conscious of how certain parts of your body look can cloud your mind with negative thoughts about how your partner sees you, and this can make you feel anxious during intercourse.

Lack Of Sexual Experience.

If you are new to sexual activity or have limited sexual experience, you may be concerned about your performance or you may be generally nervous and this can cause orgasm anxiety.

Fear Of Disappointing Your Partner.

Orgasm anxiety can also stem from the pressure to perform sexually and not disappoint your partner. 

Due to societal pressure, men, in particular, might be worried about climaxing too early as they might be seen as less masculine, while women might be worried that not having an orgasm might be seen by their partner as a sign that they are not enjoying the sexual experience. 

Relationship Disconnect.

Having relationship problems with your partner such as lack of communication, increased conflict, sexual incompatibility, or lack of emotional intimacy, can also cause orgasm anxiety.

Mental Health Issues.

Dealing with mental health issues, such as depression, general stress, or a generalized anxiety disorder, can also contribute to orgasm anxiety.

Past Sexual Experiences.

A past negative sexual encounter or a traumatic event experienced during sexual activity can have a long-lasting negative impact on a person’s future sexual experiences, including orgasm anxiety.

Negative Beliefs About Sex.

A lack of positive sex education and being ashamed of both intimacy and pleasure affects how a person perceives sex and is a contributing factor to orgasm anxiety.

How To Cope With Orgasm Anxiety.

If you believe that you have orgasm anxiety, the following tips can help you cope and even overcome your anxiety:

Find Out The Root Cause For Your Anxiety.

Take time to self-reflect and self-examine how you perceive sex and orgasm and what it means to you and your partner. This will help you to find out the main cause of your orgasm anxiety and to find healthy ways to deal with it.

Communicate With Your Partner.

Talking to your partner about how you feel during intimacy can help them better understand your experience and to offer support. 

Voicing your concerns and knowing that your partner understands how you feel can also help you to feel more relaxed and even ease your anxiety.

Improve Your Lifestyle.

If your orgasm anxiety stems from having a negative self-image, try practising healthy habits like exercising and eating a healthy diet, and improving your hygiene practices. Doing this will not only improve your health, but it will also boost your appearance and your esteem.

Find Ways To Relax.

Being relaxed and at ease during a sexual encounter can help you to be present in the moment, alleviate some of the symptoms of anxiety, and enjoy the encounter better.

Find out what makes you relaxed and do it. Whether it’s playing soothing music, lighting scented candles or having the lights on or off, do what works for you.