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RELATIONSHIPS

Think You Control Your Love Life? Think Again

It’s all in your genes

BY Joan Thatiah

Jul 08, 2021, 04:48 PM

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It’s interesting how we equate the success of a relationship not by how happy it is but by how long a couple has been together. A woman will be with a man who beats her black and blue every other night for a decade and she will still come to brag about it online because she has been in a relationship longer than her friends. We put too much emphasis on the duration.

This leaves us with the kuvumilia generation of women. Women who equate success in a relationship with strife. Who think the strength of a woman means how many hardships and disrespect a woman can take.

It’s why we have sengas sitting us down in a circle before a wedding to tell us how to not air our dirty linen in public. To keep quiet and take it even if a relationship is not working because in the end, all that will matter, the only thing you will be able to brag about is how long you were able to stay in it. 

Turns out we have all been barking up the wrong tree. According to new research as reported by Science Daily, whether you get your happily ever depends on your genes. You may fall for him because of his broad chest, his dizzying scent, or his dimpled left cheek but whether it works out with him, will depend on your genes.

Researchers from the University of Arkansas found that some people might have a genetic predisposition to be more grateful for their partners, to be more trusting of their partner, and to enjoy higher levels of satisfaction in a relationship than others. In short, your biology determines whether you become that raging, unhappy wife or not.

For the study, 71 couples were analyzed and it was discovered that people with a variation of the CD38 gene have better experiences in relationships.
With Covid-19 not giving us a break, dating sites are in this year.

Case in point, DateMeKenya just one of the many sites hooking up singles in the country signed up at least 1,500 new singles each month for the last year. Going by these findings, if sites like these added genetic testing alongside the other requirements, then we would have found the perfect formulae for dating.

How You Can Get Ahead Of It

Unfortunately for that woman seeking to ride off into the sunset with Prince Charming, it would be impractical to do genetic profiling of every man who asks you out on a coffee date to see if he is wired to keep a relationship going. 

What you can do if the heightened sense of satisfaction does not come naturally to you or your love interest is put in more work. You will need to do more than a quick text message to show your gratitude, you will need to work at being in the moment, in enjoying the relationship as it is and not as it could become.

If you put in the work, as in all areas of your life, whether you have the marriage gene or not, then you will see results. I promise.

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