If people talked about the drama they experienced while growing up in an African home, they’d write a book. Someone said African mums went to the same school and that couldn’t be any truer. They are the types of mum who will borrow you money and when you ask for a refund, they’ll ask you to repay the money they used in feeding you and taking you to school.

Back in the day, tough love was demonstrated through beating. You’d fall from a tree and they’d beat for you for breaking an arm. If you lied about eating at your friend's place, an angel would reveal it to them in a dream, and they’d beat you for lying. Doesn’t matter if it was a month later. They beat us for big and small mistakes. Some weren’t even mistakes. Here are some of them
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Aren’t African mums entitled? If they beat you and you didn’t cry, they’d go harder on you. Yaani they had to see tears rolling down your face. Not crying was like the highest form of disrespect. You had to fake something even a scream to show them how effective their beating was.  And if you laughed when your sibling was getting  whooped, your mum also beat you. Because what was funny about seeing your brother crying? It’s like they never wanted to see us happy. 

If you were the eldest and the younger sibling broke a vase, your mother would punish you for that. Where were you when they broke it? Why did you prevent the vase from falling yet they had told you to watch your younger brother? So you don’t listen, eeh? They would beat you and ask if you’ll repeat the same mistake, yet it wasn’t your fault in the first place.

When your cousin did something that was unrespectable like piercing their ears, you’d also get beaten so you don’t pierce your ears. Or if your friend misbehaved in a certain way, you’d also get punished before you repeat their mistake.

Anything inaudible that came out of your mouth when your mum sent you was an insult. It didn’t matter whether you said yes. As long as she didn’t hear it, you deserved a beating for that. And they called you from the bedroom to tell you to reduce the volume when the remote was on the table. Like how can you not stretch when it’s just there? If you didn’t hear the first time they called, they’d claim you are disrespectful and beat you for that.

If African moms could be given the chance to be dictators, they would be worse than Aladdin. If you talked when she was talking that was considered rude. She’d claim you have grown horns bigger than the devils. The elders could even be consulted for this matter. If you kept quiet when she was talking, that was another problem. How could you not talk to your mum? Are you too grown for that? She’d fetch the slippers and after the whooping, you were not supposed to get mad. Or else get another.

Weeh, moms never wanted to see you idle. Playing meant you had nothing important to do. Even if you had finished doing all the chores, playing was a sin. They’d come up with the lamest of excuses just get you into trouble. Like, 'did you pick my dress from the fundi?'. Yet she didn't have a dress at the fundi. And you'd get beaten for having a poor memory.

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