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Signs You Are Losing Yourself In A Relationship

The red flags you need to watch out for.

BY Beryl Karimi-La Patrona

Jan 10, 2023, 11:21 AM

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Having a relationship with an abuser will completely change you. It usually starts with little things and before you know it you are lost in him.

This makes it hard for women to leave relationships because it means losing the community they had before they met him and not knowing who they are without the person they are in love with.

It pays to maintain your identity in a relationship; if a person tells you otherwise, they do not mean well.

Here are a few signs that can help you audit your relationship and who you are and help you know if you have lost yourself in another person or if you have maintained your identity along the way.

You Start Asking Him For Permission To Do Everything

One of the saddest things you can hear from a girl is when she says she cannot do something without the permission of a man.

As an adult with autonomy, this should never be the case but it happens even to the best of us.

You have to recognize that you are a full human being away from the person you are seeing. When you start losing your agency as a person, it is a sign that you are losing yourself in the relationship you are in.

It is okay to inform your man of your whereabouts and your social calendar but you must always remember you are a full adult and they aren't your parents.

Having to ask for permission all the time from an adult who never asks you for permission to do the things he wants is a huge red flag and one that should never be overlooked.

You Let Go Of All Your Friends And Hobbies

You love swimming and one day you meet a man and you quit swimming altogether. You love going out with your friends and then you get into your relationships and suddenly stop going or you carry him everywhere.

You must maintain your life even when you meet someone and a sign that you are losing a huge part of what used to make you is when you give it all up for a relationship. 

You Start Dressing The Way He Wants

When Kanye married Kim Kardashian, he took over her wardrobe. It took her divorcing him for her to go back to dressing the way she likes.

She isn't a unique case, that is something that happens to many women out there and they don't realize it until they see they have changed completely.

If a man fell in love with you while you were wearing tiny outfits then that should not be a problem in a relationship unless he is a controlling person grooming you for abuse.

Your dressing choices should be respected and when you find yourself throwing your entire wardrobe out to satisfy the whims of a man then you have gotten yourself in deep, deep trouble. Dear woman, this is another sign that you have lost yourself in him. 

You Start Censoring What You Say Infront Of Him

This happens a lot of time with opinionated women. They meet someone and within a short period, they start minimizing who they are to please a man who believes women should think a certain way. 

As an educated woman, you have your own opinions and when this happens, you should know that it is a red flag. Your original thoughts are what makes you and when you start losing them you start losing your sense of self too. 

You Start Hiding Things From him 

This happens when the woman in a relationship knows she will get in trouble when she behaves like her true self.

You have to know that it is not okay to walk on eggshells when you are in a relationship and when you start doing so you have to realize you are hurting yourself to keep him happy.

It is a huge red flag and another indicator that shows you are slowly changing who you are because your true self is not appreciated in your relationship.

Read More: Beware The Self-appointed Nice Guy