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Ridiculous Lies Kenyan Men Tell Women

When men perfect the art of lying

BY Pauline Katethya

Feb 13, 2021, 01:38 PM

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Someone joked and said that if you have dated Kenyan men, you don’t have to worry about what’s in the vaccine. I have seen a lot in life, but I haven’t seen anything like Kenyan men. These people are something else. They are the eighth wonder of the world. I bet when we were skipping ropes and playing with dolls, they were mastering the art of lying.

Someone will look into your eyes, place some strands of hair behind your ear and say the most honest lie you’ll ever hear. Their face will be so genuine, you will wonder what you did to deserve such a good man. 
Here are the absurd lies that make our ears bleed.

If I Had Met You Before My Wife, I’d Have Married You 

Kenyan men make their wives look so bad, you’ll wonder if they married with a gun placed on their forehead. They will confess their love and adoration, their care, and how much they want you in their lives. They'll declare you as the perfect partner and curse the world for meeting you at the wrong time, because they would be happier and life better.

Si Unajua Nakupenda 

They will remind you how much they love you, even if they are at the altar getting married. They will insist that were it not for the unavoidable circumstances, you would be the one walking down the aisle. So now you are supposed to wait for them because they love you. Awesome. 

She Is Just A Friend 

Someone said a guy will ask you out, just to take you for granted, or take you to rock bottom.
I had a neighbor who had countless girlfriends. And when I asked about this particular lady, he said she was just a friend. The friend who cleaned his house in booty shorts and parade her ass as she hung clothes, like it was on sale or something. She cooked and shopped for him. Now they live together and their baby is almost walking. 

Then there’s this guy my friend liked. He lived with his sister and the sister had a baby. They’d talk at night when the sister was cooking. Turns out the sister was his girlfriend and the child was theirs. 
Talk about friends and sisters.

It's Not Her I Want, It’s You 

You know very well that he is with someone. But he will insist that it’s you he wants. You he wants to settle with. Doesn’t matter if he is living with her. He will confess that they are having lots of disagreements and he is not happy, but one day you guys will be together. Just wait a little bit.

Others will even say that their girlfriend moved in with them because they don’t have a place to stay. And they just can’t chase them away. Even if it was you, would you be so heartless to do that?

I Have Been Busy 

It doesn’t matter if he was watching football or lying on the couch the rest of the afternoon. Or if he was online, posted WhatsApp Statuses but didn't have time to reply your text. He was busy, maybe even with someone else.

Kuna Deal Nangoja Iivane 

We only have like five generous men in Kenya. Men who can come through for you in any situation. But the others will lie and tell you they have no money or make a promise for a later date. Be patient.

The day you get married that’s when they’ll remember there’s some cash they needed to send. They’ll remind you that they miss you, still love you, and if possible get off the freaking altar and run away with them. 

I Miss You 

If a guy tells you this, it means he needs one thing from you. He doesn’t miss you he misses how you made him feel. And this is the only time someone will look for you, when they need something from you.
And it’s even worse when they promise to pull out and you trust them. 

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