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Why Are Toy Boys A Taboo?

And why do we assume sugar mummies are stupid?

BY Joan Thatiah

Mar 30, 2021, 01:21 PM

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A few days ago, musician Guardian Angel and his girlfriend Esther Musila celebrated their first dating anniversary. As usual, we were all up in their business.

Their open show of affection elicited a host of reactions especially because Esther is considerably older. While netizens took their hats off for Angel for his great catch, the reaction towards Esther was mostly pity.

A male friend called me ranting that evening that I should use my platform to advise well-off, independent women like her to ‘open their eyes’. His assumption seemed to be that to be involved with a younger man of fewer means, a woman must be blinded. The younger man must be taking advantage of her and we must all get together and try to save her.

She Knows What She Wants

There are many things wrong here. First, one would have thought that in 2021, we would have outgrown our interest in other people’s dating lives but no. We are still there. Why should it matter to you if a younger man is what tickles her fancy? We have so many more important things to worry about. Like the tax that the government has just imposed on Facebook. Or the hideous biker shorts Nairobi women won’t stop wearing.

Second, that assumption that a woman who finds herself in anything less than the traditional long-term relationship with an older wealthier man is lost, is misplaced. The truth is that not every woman out there wants or needs a long-term relationship. Some women are looking for random play. Others have achieved the other milestones they set for themselves and are just looking to date a younger, less experienced man to help them let their hair down a little.

The Opposite Is True

While it would be nice if we all just got with the people who make us feel warm in the chest and never worried about what we were getting from a relationship, the unpopular truth is that all relationships are transactional. Whether the currency is love, intimacy, or money, you stay with your significant other because you get something from the relationship. It’s a give and take.

If this woman has managed to survive in this economy long enough to get up in her career or build a thriving business, why are you assuming that she is too blind to see that the younger man that’s been warming her bed likes that she can buy him nice things? She also knows that if she wasn’t wealthy, this man would not have any interest in her. She is honest with herself.

It’s the same assumption we make when a man cheats and a woman stays with him. We assume that she is blind and she can’t see that he is no good for her. We swear that he must have gotten into her head somehow. The truth we don’t see is that sexual exclusivity is not the first thing on every woman’s list of deal breakers.

Chances are that she is aware of all the choices available to her. All the men that she could get with. But she chooses this one because he meets her needs. If she is happy, why are you complaining?

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