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Love And Sex: Understand The Difference

Your gateway to the best sex life

BY Agnes Amondi

Oct 05, 2022, 10:11 AM

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Love and sex. These two words are very familiar to you. Maybe you know what it's like to make love or have sex. Maybe you don't. Either way, you probably use these two words interchangeably. But, did you know there is a difference between having sex and making love? 

We’ll get into that but first, you don’t need to cherry-pick between having sex and making love. Both can co-exist in your relationship. Sometimes, you’ll be in the mood to just slow everything down for a soulful experience while other times, you’ll want the thrill of having sex. Don't be ashamed. After all, aren’t we all trying to have the best sex life?

Differences Between Making Love And Having Sex

Whilst making love and having sex are both physical, there are things that separate both acts. 

1. Are Feelings Involved? 

If you have been in a casual relationship then you know that you can't expect anything from him. What you are after is a good time. Someone who will be around when you need to deal with your sexual pressures. You find it easy to move on afterwards because there is nothing else to your connection other than sex.
The opposite happens when it comes to lovemaking. The reason why people say that you cannot make love to anyone but can have sex with anyone is that a deeper connection has to exist for lovemaking to happen. 

Getting sexual is more of a celebration of your connection and love for one another. Saying goodbye is not going to be easy and expectations exist.

2. The Level of Vulnerability

How much of yourself do you reveal to your partner? When making love, you open up and share with him your deepest desires. You tell him things like "I love you". You make lots and lots of eye contact. This makes you feel close to one another. This creates that unbreakable bond between the two of you.

There is vulnerability when having sex but it's not because you want to connect deeper with your man of the moment. It's because you have other fears

Maybe you feel insecure about your body or not being at your best or not being able to share your deepest desires. It's all about you.

3. Is The Sex Mutual? 

If sexual pleasure is the only thing you are chasing after, then you are most likely not interested in the needs of your partner. As long as your needs are met, you are happy and move on with your life. After all, you can always hit those sexual highs with anyone. 

But when you are making love, you are very much concerned about the needs of your partner. You are not in a rush to hit the heights of sexual pleasure. 

Rather, you are keen on the process of getting there. You are affectionate with him. You cuddle, kiss and exchange prolonged eye contact and sweet words. After sex, you still linger in each other's arms. 

4. Are You Exclusive?

Are you the only one he is seeing? If you are scratching your head wondering, then chances are that you are in a casual relationship. You aren’t in it thinking about the future. It's about the here and now. There isn't any commitment and you are free to do what you want. 

But if you want to experience the level of intimacy that exists in lovemaking, exclusivity is something you will establish between you and your man. This is a special experience and you want to share it with him and only him. 

5. Is There More To It Than Sex?

If the only reason you meet him is to have sex, then you most likely know nothing about him. Not his favourite hangout spots, friends, what he does for a living or his family. Generally, you lack information about him. Why bother about it anyway? After all, he is just a sexual outlet for you. 

On the other hand, when you have an emotional connection with someone, you will know a lot about him. What makes him smile, where he comes from, his strengths and weaknesses, what he does and many more things. More likely than not, you see yourself with him in future.

6. Effort vs Convenience

You might have that one person on your contacts list whom you call when you want to have sex, right? You have an understanding with him that your relationship is sexual so when you give him a call or vice-versa, you know what's going to happen. That is what we mean by convenience. 

But, in lovemaking, if you want to make the moment unforgettable, then you have to put in the effort. Create anticipation before the material day, choose the right location and place everything in order. You want to have a personal touch on most of these things. Most important of all, you will do it with his interests in mind.


What is lovemaking?

If you have read the points above, you should have a clue of what the definition of making love is. If you are still confused, this is it. Making love is more about emotional connection than it is about physical. It’s not just about what you want, it’s about what you and your partner need to feel satisfied in your sex lives. 

We hope you find this article helpful in understanding the difference between having sex and making love. Remember, both are important. Just make sure you understand what's going on and you will enjoy the best of both worlds.