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Dziana Hasanbekava


How To Get Over Him.

A guide on how to get over a bad break up.

BY Beryl karimi-La Patrona

Nov 30, 2022, 02:36 PM

Photo by

Dziana Hasanbekava

The end of a relationship can be pretty debilitating. It is the one thing that drives people into tears, into depression and sometimes into suicide. The end of a relationship is usually so destabilizing It makes people send their exes 30 paragraphs. It is usually so hard to deal with the end of love that it turns people into stalkers who create fake social media accounts to keep tabs on their former partners. 

The end of a relationship does not have to be that hard though. With the right tools letting go can be pretty easy so here are a few pointers.

Feel all your emotions.

The end of a relationship marks the end of something that was meaningful to you and that is a loss in its own way. You cannot move on without grieving for what was a huge part of you. You have to mourn the loss of what was, what could have been and what will never be. Repressed emotions tend to show up in the worst ways possible so when you lose a relationship you once held dear in your heart, cry if you feel like it. Scream into the void if that's what you want to. You have to feel all that pain and you have to accept it for what it is. It is the first step towards healing.

Channel that energy into something else.

The end of a relationship comes with too much pain, too much anger, and all that emotion is felt in the physical body .To get over a relationship you have to release all the negative energy in your body that is associated with it and that is why you have to walk into the gym and punch that bag if you are feeling too angry. If the gym isn't for you running is equally a good idea and so is walking in nature.  

Go out with other people.

To let go of a relationship you have to allow yourself to experience other people. Sometimes you think your ex is the best person you will ever have until you connect with someone who makes you sparkle more than they ever did.

So allow yourself to meet up with other people or the possibilities to meet them. Download tinder or whatever dating app that suits you and go on dates again. Go out clubbing if it's your thing. Travel. Volunteer. Just do something that allows you to interact with other people and you would be surprised by how much life has to offer and abundantly so.

Get under someone else.

They say that to get over someone you need to get under someone else and I agree. Having a hoe phase can help you let go of a former relationship and transition into the dating market with so much ease.

Go to therapy.

Talking about your pain to a professional who has the tools to help you is the best thing you can ever do for yourself. No one can ever help you understand your relationship patterns the way a therapist can. More so, therapy helps you let go of a relationship in an healthy manner and it gives the information you need to navigate new relationships moving forward.

Listen to ted talks.

There are a lot of ted talks on different internet platforms offering tools on how to manage a break up. Psychologists like Esther Perel have free content online that would help you introspect on what you are going through on your hard days.