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Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day That Bad?

Is it about love or material stuff?

BY Pauline Katethya

Feb 13, 2021, 08:30 AM

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Valentine's Day, the most anticipated day by women and the most dreaded day by men. If you gave men the option of jumping off a bridge or celebrating Valentine's, we would have to bury a bunch of them.

Social media floods with funny memes around this time. Some will talk about the Men’s Conference, Men's National Fasting and Prayer Day. Some people even offer kidnapping services for that particular day. And this always gets me wondering, do men hate this day that much? Does it make them cringe? Do they feel like vomiting when they hear about Valentine's? And is it because we demand a lot from them or is it because they don’t want to step up?

After doing my research here are the reasons why most men wish this day never existed. 

It Is Female Centered 

People say we are selfish creatures. They might be right, they might be wrong. We have been accused of turning Father’s Day into Mother’s Day and even when it comes to Valentine’s we make it about us. We want flowers. We want chocolate. We want candlelit dinners. We want gifts. We want a surprise vacation. We want a good massage and some mind-blowing sex. We want everything. This is the day we want to lay back and expect to be treated like queens and angels. And what do we get them? Socks and boxers. Talk about double standards.

The Test Of True Love 

This is the day women will test whether their men love them. It doesn’t matter whether they have been given a quality life, love, or affection. You might have fetched another planet for her or turned water into wine, but no, that’s not enough. We need more. A sign. A proof. Gifts to equate how much we are loved and adored. And if a man doesn’t deliver, what he did or didn’t do will be used against him for the next 13 years or so. These things never rest in peace. 
When did love and affection become so twisted?

It’s UnAfrican To Celebrate It

Is this toxic masculinity? I asked a friend why he hated Valentine’s and he said it’s a thing for the whites. “We African men think it’s such a mzungu thing and football is the only mzungu thing we love. The rest we don’t care.” And then you wonder why Kenyan men are unromantic. It has never been in their ancestral genes or spirits. Never.

It’s Too Much 

Men already have a problem remembering and planning birthdays and anniversaries, and then you want them to also plan Valentines? Really? Are they ever going to get a break? And it’s even worse if the day falls on a weekend because now they won’t be able to hang out with the guys or the girls. They’ll be forced to stay indoors and pretend they care about the arrows cupid has been shooting people with. 

Valentines Is Materialized 

It’s not about love. It’s about money. About who is getting the most expensive gifts in town. Who is going to the classiest restaurants? And for women, I think it’s always a competition among themselves. Whose boyfriend outdid who? Imagine getting nothing for Valentine's and your friends learn about it? They’ll think your man doesn’t care about you or doesn’t love you enough to gift you something. 
This puts financial pressure on men to deliver. To break their backs for women who value materialistic stuff more than they value who offers it to them. 

The Pressure To Commit

So Ken has a girlfriend and then there’s Stacy. Stacy thinks she is in a relationship. Stacy thinks Ken loves her. On this pointless day, she’ll want Ken to live up to her expectations. So what will Ken do? He’ll wear pretense on his sleeves and paint the picture-perfect image of the relationship they have going on. Stacy will think their relationship has been upgraded to a new level. And guess who will be trashing men and calling them dogs a few months down the line? Yeah, you guessed right.

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