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Body Count: 7 Obvious Reasons Not To Tell Him

Because you don't kiss and tell

BY YAZA Kenya Team

Oct 18, 2022, 12:40 PM

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Have you been asked about your body count? We simply don’t understand the obsession men have with these numbers. So what if he finds out that you can count your sexual partners, on one hand, both, or you need an extra pair of hands to complete the count?

I can already feel your frustration so take it easy. I take it that most of you know the meaning of body count. For those who aren’t in the know, body count is the number of people you have slept with and specifically, the number of times you've had penetrative sex.  

So should you tell him? 

We are of the opinion that you should never give it away. Some women are like an open book and they’ll spill the beans provided anyone is brave enough to trigger the question. They simply don’t give two hoots about what anyone thinks. 

But if you are one who cares about how the dreaded body count question will impact your relationship, here are reasons why you should never dare share those figures with your significant other.

1. You Wil Be Judged Regardless 

We supposedly live in the era of sexual liberation. It’s your body and you can do whatever you want to and tell the world what you’ve been up to. Alright, we get that part but the brutal truth is you still have to be very selective about the details you share especially when it comes to your sexual life. 

No matter how nice he words this question, don’t give in. Don’t even lie about the number. Whether it’s true or not, you stand to lose either way. A high count and he takes you for a slut, a low number and you are too modest and a count of zero, well something must be wrong with you. Sis, it’s not worth the hustle. Keep it to yourself.

2. He Is Not After The Truth

He will claim to want the truth but the reality is he doesn’t really want it. He can’t live with it. It’s his curiosity. Perhaps he wants to gauge his standing with you, sexually speaking, to assess whether he can handle you. 

A high body count might suggest that you know what you want and aren’t afraid of asking for it. Is he ready for this type of woman? A low count or zero and he probably fancies his chances to control that department of your relationship. 

Regardless of what he’s thinking, there’s really nothing to gain here. If he wants to know where to place himself in your sexual life then he should spend time with you. He will learn what makes you tick and know which buttons to press so why burn all this energy? 

3. The Past Belongs In The Past

Everyone has skeletons in their closet. We let some out and others stay there because there’s no use in revealing them. You have your past, he has his. Both of you want a relationship which will mean, as things escalate and get serious, you’ll have to share part of your histories. 

If you have an STI, recall the phrase “each time you sleep with someone, you also sleep with his past?” then tell him. If you were sexually assaulted or have a condition that affects your sexual life, go ahead and let him know because it impacts your sexual lives. But your body count affects nothing and no one. That number is yours to take to the grave. 

4. Don’t Leave Any Room For Doubt

If you cannot return the toothpaste back into the tube, then don’t let the cat out of the bag either. That number will stick in his mind and you will always be viewed with suspicion. Any opposition to his sexual advances - because sometimes you will not be in the mood - will be met with needless comparisons. 

You don’t want to be in a relationship where your integrity is questioned just because of your past. You don’t want to give him any reason to see you in a different way and potentially bring a promising relationship to a premature end.

5. You Have Nothing To Prove

You are a sexual being just like your guy. So why do you have to explain your sexual choices which you consciously made before he came along? Why should you be the one to prove your levels of sexual purity? 

He probably has his long list of sexual partners as well and no one is asking him to account for it. You have needs, you did what you had to do and the last thing you should do is bend over backwards trying to justify your decision. 

6. You Are Worth More

Sex is not the only thing that defines you and your past relationships. Most men will get hung up on this one thing and forget about all the other qualities you bring to the table. 

The fact that you have developed sexual experience should not make you less worthy of finally settling for a long-term relationship. Your man should not be less attracted to you because of your past. It’s what you offer now that matters.  

7. He Will Not Believe You 

In the end, whatever you say, chances are that he will not take your word for it. He'll probably think that you are playing down your numbers to look good. After coming clean because you want to be honest, do you have any guarantee that he'll not go around fishing for more information? You are on the losing end even before you say anything so why try to convince him otherwise? 

FAQ

What is a body count?

No woman should walk around not knowing the meaning of body count. When a man asks you about it, he is asking for the number of sexual partners you’ve had.

How do you know your body count?

If you want to know your body count, what you need to count is the number of times you let you've had penetrative sex. If you were just kissing and caressing one another, it doesn’t matter how passionate the moment was or whether you were dressed or nude, it doesn’t add to your body count. 

Ladies, if he wants a relationship with you, he won’t pop this intrusive question. He sees your value and will not need you to prove anything. Therefore, don’t feel compelled to disclose this information and tolerate this conversation. If you want to give your numbers out, by all means. But just so you know, it won’t do you any good.