I tend to think socks are similar to pegs, no matter how many you have, they keep disappearing until one day you wake up and you have ten pegs. Keeping up with socks is taxing and almost impossible. It is equivalent to keeping up with Beyonce, The Kardashians, or Rihanna. 

You need a bodyguard, someone to make sure a pair is washed, hung, folded, and put in the drawer together. Because, if you miss any of the above steps, they’ll get lost and you’ll wake up one morning wondering how you became an adult full of a drawer with unmatched socks and no decent pair to wear.

Research also shows that more socks are lost when men do laundry, but I guess that doesn’t come as a surprise. The only thing they’ll carefully pay attention to is football. It is reported that they blame colored or happy socks which make up the majority of the missing socks compared to the other types. 

So, here’s everything you need to know about lost socks;

No one has ever told you this, but socks get tired of your dirty, stinky, and ashy feet and decide to walk away. They get tired of your long toenails and unscrubbed feet and decide enough is enough. So, can you blame them for getting away? We walk away from toxic, unhealthy relationships so why aren’t socks allowed to hide behind the sofa, under the bed, or travel to a faraway unknown land? 

Have you watched a clip where a bonnet waits for the owner to sleep and walks to the living room to drink wine and watch TV? That’s what happens to socks at night. They untangle themselves from their partner, get out of the drawer and walk to the living room to unwind after a long day of putting up with the other socks. 

Somewhere along the way, the monster-eating socks devours them and since you are mostly sound asleep, you never hear their cry for help. It hasn’t been identified when or how this monster can be caught or what it looks like, but this is one of the many mysteries in life. 

We’ve all had that favorite pair of socks that brought us good luck or were gifted to us by someone special. But a few months down the line, they disappeared into the thin air, never to be seen again. 

Just like any traumatic event, it is advisable to deal with this type of grief. It might not be intense, but we are all reminded that someday, you’ll fall in love with another pair of socks but as is the norm, these too will break your heart. It’s a never-ending loss, get used to it. 

One day when the son of man comes down again and the dead resurrect, and if we are lucky, set foot in the land of milk and honey, then we will be reunited with all the lost socks. 

And studies show that we lose an average of 15 pairs of socks a year. So, it shall be a happy memorable day. But if socks don’t go to heaven or we don’t make it there, then unfortunately, this will be a sad story, because no lost socks return to tell us where they have been.