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Girl, You Can't Change Him

When he shows you who he is, believe him

BY Joan Thatiah

May 03, 2021, 10:45 AM

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This weekend, the bottom fell off for one Professor Hamo. Last Friday afternoon, Churchill show comedian Stella Bunei Koitie whose stage name is Jemutai reached out to the tea master Edgar Obare in a quest to sell her Facebook page which has 850k followers.

In his usual style, Edgar Obare prodded and Jemutai shared that she has two children with fellow Churchill show comedian Professor Hamo and that he has neglected the children. She was trying to sell the Facebook Page to pay the bills. As reported by Kelebrity, this story threw the internet into a frenzy.
A Screen Grab of Edgar Obare's Instagram Stories on Friday 30th April
According to the comedian, the two met in 2016 and began a relationship. Hamo was already married at this point. When she fell pregnant with their first child, Hamo pulled the ‘I’m a married man’ card and Jemutai went through the pregnancy alone, living in a single room in Pipeline, without furniture or a stove, at one point.

Somehow, Hamo wormed his way back into her heart again, they moved in together and in 2019, the two had another child. A daughter this time. Then last October Hamo moved out and cut contact with her.

After this came out, there was a bit of mudslinging on social media with Hamo putting up a post to deny the allegations and Jemutai going to her page to spill intimate details of their relationship and her relationship with Hamo’s first wife. It took Churchill to get the two off the internet to try and resolve their differences in private.
A Screen Grab From Jemutai's Facebook Page On Sunday 2nd May 2021
Now, there are many things wrong with this scenario but what I can’t move past is the many chances that Jemutai has given this man. Now, a woman being left holding the baby is not news. It happens all the time and for as many reasons. What I can’t wrap my head around is how a woman goes through this utterly heartbreaking experience, has a child while broke and alone only for this man to come back begging a year or two down the line, swearing that he’s now a changed man. Why is she surprised that he took off again?

I’ve lived long enough to know to believe people when they show you who they are. Dead beat dads, philandering men, serial cheaters…people don’t change. Not unless they commit themselves. I know that someone will not change just because your feelings got hurt, they will not change because of public opinion either.

Maybe a lot of us could save ourselves from these messes by reading people’s actions rather than listening to what they say. If he says he loves you but splits during your most vulnerable times, his actions scream that he is not reliable. He may have a soft spot for you, he may even love you but he is not solid enough for you to build your life around him.

Talk is overrated. People will say anything to get out of situations or to get into situationships. Life would be better if talk was worth more but it isn’t.
Be prudent. Listen to his actions. When he shows you who he truly is, believe him.

Read: Can A Woman Survive Revenge Porn