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4 Tips To Break Free From Your Past

Because your future needs you but your past doesn't

BY Pauline Katethya

Aug 25, 2021, 11:24 AM

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Everyone has a story. Even the ones that seem that they have their lives well put together. They say that we are the sum total of our hurt, trauma and pain.

Either way, no matter how painful or ugly a trauma was, you are allowed to feel the pain but you are not allowed to let the pain make a home out of you. You don’t wake up one day and you are healed. It is a long journey that requires patience, grace, and commitment but it’s worth it. Here’s why you need to heal.

To Make Peace With The Past 

There comes a time in life when we have to accept that a tragedy happened and make peace with the past and ourselves. This acknowledgment helps us to forgive ourselves and the people who wronged us. It also allows us to travel lightly because sometimes the burdens we carry in our souls can get too heavy that they weigh us down. 

When we are lighter, we are happy and free from the things that keep us from growing. We choose to no longer enable the pain and the hurt and this helps with self-awareness. You can identify where some of your fears stem from and how to deal with them. 

To Move On 

Sometimes we continue holding on to pain because a certain memory feels important to us, but we shouldn’t punish ourselves. This does not mean you forget everything that happened, it means accepting how painful it was and knowing what lessons to learn or unlearn from them. Making peace with the past helps you move on and moving on means accepting new things that life has to offer. When you choose to let go, you choose to take control of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You choose to no longer live in the past but in the present. 

To Have A Clear View Of Life 

When you don’t heal from your past, you see the world through your distorted lens of pain, hurt, and disappointment. You don’t see people for who they truly are. No matter how pure and genuine their intentions are, you see them as a possible threat. People capable of hurting you. Even when people tell you something you hear it through the filter of your wound.

Trauma makes you build high walls to distance yourself from people. This makes you feel safer because you think you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. But in the real sense, you are destroying relationships and yourself too.

The world is not out to get you. Just because something happened doesn’t mean it will happen again. Just because someone hurt you doesn’t mean the next person will.  Seeing the world for what it truly is and people for who they are colors your world. You get to build strong and healthy relationships and harness the possibilities of a future that could be. 

The Past Does Not Define You 

You are not your past. The trauma might have changed you, but it’s part of your history, not your present. If you embarked on journeys you shouldn’t have, forgive yourself for the mistakes. Don't beat yourself up for not knowing better at that time. You are a different person now. You are growing, you are changing, you are learning. You shouldn’t be held accountable for the past. If someone wronged you, forgive them, not for themselves but for your sake.

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