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Embracing Femininity: The New Her

She said goodbye to the old her

BY Agnes Amondi

Jan 27, 2023, 10:22 AM

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Steph was the real definition of a tomboy. Skirts, dresses, high heels, make-up, long hair, pink and everything girly, were never part of her fashion vocabulary. Doing house chores - cooking, laundry, house cleaning - again never her cup of tea.

Early mornings for her meant running around with the boys or at times alone around the neighbourhood. Any trees around would have mastered the feel of her hands and feet. Is there a playground that hasn’t been patterned by her footsteps? Is there a boy she hasn’t played with? What about the boy’s clothing section? That she mastered like the back of her hands. The barber's chair must also have been very fond of her as inches of her full hair fell to the floor on countless occasions. The embodiment of her personality was captured by her decision to interchangeably use the name Steph and Steve.

Yes! She was loud and proud. She was who she wanted to be. She was “just being herself” as the advice always goes. But this brought unwanted attention to her. Many times, people are not good at minding their own business nor following their own advice. So they snooped and called her all sorts of things - brash, aggressive and everything of that kind. 

Deep down inside, Steph, the name we’ll go with here, was fragile and soft. She perhaps just didn’t know how to bring this out and she yearned for the day she could do just that.

Many years later, She has evolved to embrace her femininity. She always longed for a day that she could let her feminine energy roam free. From the shorts and sneakers, she now takes to skirts and dresses. No longer in the barber’s chair (as good a times those were) she now sits in salons and get’s her hair styled. She now blends in seamlessly and doesn’t feel like she’s an outsider looking in.  

She no longer has to bear the image of superman. She now knows how to carefully pick her battles. Making amends even where strong-willed men have not been able to. Because of this, she understands that you can still be feminine and beautiful and make your way around.

Steph now sees more women in places that were male-dominated previously. They walk beautifully astute, make no apologies and crack the whip. For her, it provides the inspiration that she never had. She no longer has to move through the world feeling like she has to “save the day”. 

She has met all of these women, many on the web, fewer in person. They say the things she thought weren’t possible, they wear baby pink and blue, and step into the corporate world, own businesses, live and do as they please. They have long hair, some desire to cut it short and they do so at their own pleasure. These women Steph now sees, have sacrificed a lot or have been the sacrificial lamb so that women like her don’t have to feel like strangers in their own bodies.

As for her new feminine appearance, she is turning heads. No longer are people wondering where she belongs, gender-wise. No longer do they see her as brash. The way she is received has changed. She’s become more comfortable with pink and in her own skin. She no longer stands out because she’s the only girl who wore a pantsuit to the prom. 

To all of you who think tomboys have no feelings and that they are just an angry bunch of rowdy girls who will “pass the phase” Steph has just proved otherwise. And no, it’s not a bad thing to be one. Enjoy those days whilst they last.

Steph did and this monologue from her is not about regret. She is proud of her past and owns it. Equally, she is proud of the full-blown woman that she is now.

A note from the writer: Whilst Steph is a fictitious character, the story is based on real-life events.